Broken

yeah this is how i feel
nothing showing outside, like if i was dead and no reaction. but with a hole screaming and bleeding inside. shatterning through my body...

why ? because if its not enough with all that happens lately now there is new stuff adding to it...

friendship
big word that dont seem to mean anything to most people now.
to me it means a lot. i ll be thre to help by any means at any time of the day....

but seems to some am just a damn social service .
i might as well ask some to leave the money near the bed when they leave since its how they consider me...
i try to help my friends , support them and cheer them up when they in need

result ? i get thrown away like an old relic the moment am asking a bit of support
and even better , even if i supported them during their full emo whining, i get even accused to break their dreams with my constant complaints. or in other cases i just get throw away and cut contact becausethey just not in the mood or not caring....

yeah gotta love "friendsip"at times
some dont understand friendship isnt backstabing but being there,,,,

right now i feel broken , shattered, angry , and kindda dead inside...
why ? because i was even more silly to think very highly of those amtalking and consider them very important to me...
story of my life

anyway sorry for the rant . i ll be feeling better very soon i promise.
if they act like that then they werent the friends i thought they were thats all.
i allways took care of myself anyway.

Agnes "BIG BLUE WALL"

Looking at me
You´de never know I´m fragile
Looking at me
You wouldn´t guess that I might be, yeah
Afraid to crash afraid to burn as freely

As the last time I let go
All the shadows and suspicions that may appear to you as ice
Are not me being cold just thinking twice

I can build a big blue wall
No way in and no way out
But leave it up to you to prove me wrong
I´m afraid that I could crumble
Once the stones begin to move
It happens when you been too blue too long

There´s a breeze
That´s flickering the candles
And I can breath
A little deeper for a change, yeah
There´s a chance outside this isolation
I´ll be free to be held again
But if I am reluctant and if I begin to cry
It´s because I´m unaccustomed to the light

I can build a big blue wall
No way in and no way out
But leave it up to you to prove me wrong
I´m afraid that I could crumble
Once the stones begin to move
It happens when you been too blue too long

You can stand in the street light
But live in the corners and no one knows
You´re not there
You can smile for the camera
And make impression
And no one knows
You don´t care

I can build a big blue wall
No way in and no way out
But leave it up to you to prove me wrong
I´m afraid that I could crumble

Once the stones begin to move
It happens when you been too blue too long


song belong to Agnes album "dance love pop"
art and karmakat belongs to Karmakat Silverwind

can't be defeated colored

lately i been going through a lot.

mentally , physically . cant say a lot of good things happened besides my friends and those i love.

it been discovered lately that a piece of the prothesis in my knee has to be changed so i could hope to straighten my leg again one day.

and at the same time it seems that the anckle is in need of a prothesis too very soon .

if it dont work out i might end up as bionic leg kat much sooner than i ever expected.

pretty hard when i think i just got 29 years old a few months ago lol.

my friends been near me and helping me a lot for sure

but then i heard that song from anastacia "defeated" and listening to the lyrics i understood

i remenbered how i made it so far. as long as i dont give up the fight and keep at it i ll be able to make it .

so yeah am stuborn loool

Anastacia "defeated"

"Selling stories that were overrated in this world so complicated Felt so right, you tried to make it wrong Why can't we all just get along From the start something wasn't right I used to cry myself to sleep at night Told myself stand up be strong This kind of phase doesn't last for long Every time you try to knock me down, gonna pick my back up off the ground The battle never ends

You can tear me apart You can rip me to pieces Try breaking me down But I'll never be beated You can say that you won but I'll never believe it Cos I can't be defeated Made a mistake swore Ill never repeat it Lost my heart for a second but it never stopped beating I smile through the tears so the way that I see it I can't be defeated

There are times that I couldn't take it Never felt so violated At the risk of sounding so cliché I just gotta call a spade a spade Hurts me right to the core I can't take this anymore Getting tired of the same old song Final chorus, now I'm moving on Things aint fair in love in war Never been the kind to be ignored Tried to push me to the edge

You can tear me apart You can rip me to pieces Try breaking me down But I'll never be beated You can say that you won but I'll never believe it Cos I can't be defeated Made a mistake swore Ill never repeat it Lost my heart for a second but it never stopped beating I smile through the tears so the way that I see it I can't be defeated

Yeah Nothing is impossible Nothing is unreachable If you only believe then you get what you need So keep on holdin on You can tear me apart You can rip me to pieces Try breaking me down But I'll never be beated You can say that you won but I'll never believe it Cos I can't be defeated Made a mistake swore Ill never repeat it Lost my heart for a second but it never stopped beating I smile through the tears so the way that I see it I can't be defeated "

lyrics are property of Anastacia

art and karmakat is my property

let me know what yall think )